


Suffering With You

by General_Kyla



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parenting, Caretaking, Child Neglect, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Neck Kissing, Nightmares, Past Child Abuse, Romance, Sleeping Together, Starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 07:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15944396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/General_Kyla/pseuds/General_Kyla
Summary: Snape‘s childhood was one of the worst parts of his life full of burdens, each night the memories of his father haunt him and he couldn’t be more happier to have the person he loves more than anything by his side to save him from his despair.





	Suffering With You

Severus turned restlessly in his bed, he tossed away his dirty blanket, he couldn’t silence the voices in his head telling him that he was a good-for-nothing troublemaker whose first and worst mistake was to be born into this world. 

His father and sometimes even his mother had convinced him that it was true, that he really was worthless and that he deserved to sleep in stained sheets. Severus scratched his head, his hair had grown longer, the black strands touched his shoulders, he was rarely allowed to wash it. Yet he was glad his mother had stopped cutting it, now he looked a little less like father.

In the darkness of his tiny bedroom he could still perfectly see his ribs pressing against his pale skin, it shined in the white moonlight that entered through the only window in the room. Sev tried to ignore the pain his old and new scars brought him every second of his miserable existence. His stomach ached for food, he punched himself to make it stop, but it continued to growl no matter how hard he hit. 

Realizing that he wouldn’t be strong enough to stand up tomorrow if he didn’t sleep, he snuck out of the room to make his way down to the kitchen. Severus was careful to be quiet, one sound and his father would be running downstairs to strangle him. Sev swallowed nervously, the last steps of the staircase always creaked so horribly loud. 

He tried to lightly tip-toe over them, but then the very last step creaked under his feet and he stopped to listen for his father. Silence. Sev arrived in the kitchen and immediately hurried over to the drawers under the sink, his mother had whispered to him that she would be hiding some leftovers from dinner for him. 

Severus opened the drawer and stuck his head inside to try and find the food in the total darkness. He reached out with his thin arms to feel for the plate, but there was absolutely nothing inside. His mother always hid the food under there, why didn’t she tell him the new hiding place?

Sev groaned in frustration, with every second he was outside the prison they called his 'room', he was risking to get caught. 

He searched through the entire kitchen, but all he could find was food that surely belonged to his father and he wasn’t foolish enough to touch it. Not anymore. Eventually he gave up and fell to his knees, he felt so empty, he knew there was a deep hole inside him, but whenever he tried to find it with his hands, he ended up touching the place where his heart pounded more weakly with every passing minute. 

Little Severus wasn‘t afraid of death anymore, if it was true that he would leave this hell and enter a new and beautiful world full of peace and silence, he was more than willing to let go. There was only one thing holding him back from drowning himself in the bathtub next month: His mother. 

She was a fragile woman with straight, dark hair, always flinching and covering in the presence of her husband. Severus couldn’t remember the last time he had seen her dull, black eyes sparkle with happiness. Mother wore a heavy and sad smile whenever she looked down on her, she thought he was too young to understand that there was something wrong with their relationship, but since Severus had seen the way other couples in their town treated each other, he knew his parents weren’t in love. 

Yet his mother never hurt him, she never raised her hand against him. A few times she had even risked to protect Sev in front of his father, it was a mistake, but her son never forgot the moments she showed any sort of compassion and care for him. He couldn’t bring himself to leave her behind with father.

Sometimes Severus heard his mother talk to herself. "It‘s not his fault, Eileen, be reasonable, he works hard for you and the boy can be difficult to control. You have to understand him. You need to forgive him for every time his hand slipped and ..." His mother usually broke out into tears halfway through her monologues.

Severus didn’t cry anymore, he knew the punishments would only get worse if he showed any signs of weakness. He wondered why his mother didn’t just leave this place with Sev, she was a witch, and if he could believe her, he would soon become a wizard too. There was no reason to stay with one of the normal people, they were nothing but cruel monsters in Severus‘ eyes. 

Sev opened his eyes, he was laying on the cold kitchen floor and the sunlight made his nose itch. He woke up utterly confused and still hungry. One look towards the clock told him that his parents were about to wake up, his father always got up very early to take the bus to work. 

Little Severus crawled over the floor with all the strength left in his slim body. He heard a pair of feet walking downstairs, his head shot up and he mentally prepared himself to be beaten up for leaving his room. To his delight, it was his mother who had woken up earlier to prepare breakfast. 

"Get up, boy. He doesn’t want to see you in the morning," mother sighed and barely looked at Sev before she went over to the drawers to take out some bread. Severus‘ eyes lingered over the food for a while, it was so close yet so far away. 

"C- Can I have some, please?" Sev pleaded.

"You know, sometimes I think your father is right, you really are a spoiled brat!" She raised her voice and Severus flinched. "I left you some dinner under the sink, and since you seem to have been active tonight, you should be stuffed full!"

"It was gone ..." Severus whispered and hoped his mother would believe him.

"Nonsense, your father doesn’t eat cold cabbage in the middle of the night," she explained while she took her wand out of her bathrobe and used it to make the bread cut itself into to perfectly even pieces.

Sev watched her perform magic with big eyes, he wished he already had his own wand to hex his father the next time he dared to lay his hands on him or his mother. Of course he knew that his mother wasn’t allowed to use magic in front of her husband, he hated everything that wasn’t normal. He called witches and wizards 'freaks', Severus despised the word.

"Listen up, Sev, I didn‘t raise you to be a liar. Now go to your room and think about what you‘ve done wrong, understood?" She said.

The boy blinked silently, not even his own mother believed anything he said anymore, where was the point in talking anymore if his dirty mouth could only speak out lies? 

"What‘s the bastard doing down here? What did I tell you, woman?! What did I tell you?! Out!" A cold and dark voice billowed through the kitchen. 

His father had arrived, he was a tall and grim figure with dark hair, a resting scowl on his face and the same crooked nose that Severus had. Sev turned around to look at his mother, her wand had turned into a simple kitchen knife and she anxiously looked back at her son.

"Are you deaf? I said out!" 

Severus wanted to move, but it was his mother who hurried out of the kitchen first. He watched her leave in silence, maybe she thought his punishment would be less harmful if she obeyed him, or maybe she would hide in her bed and cry under the sheets while her husband tormented her son. Sev never found out why his mother did anything.

"Did you miss something tonight? Perhaps you were looking for some leftovers on your nightly stroll? I found them after your mother hid them under the sink. I threw all of it away, and I‘m surprised you didn‘t go search in the trash, you dirty rat," his father growled.

The man caught Severus before he could move, he held a tight grip on his greasy hair and yanked his head up. His father sneered, there was nothing but cold malice in his eyes when he stared directly into his son‘s scared face. Pain was about to take over his body once more, he could tell from the way the man breathed heavily.

"You‘re just as useless as your mother, what an ugly old hag she‘s turned out to be, she looked so sweet when she was younger, but now ..." He took a deep breath and raised his free hand into the air. "You two are so alike."

The back of his father‘s hand slapped against Sev‘s pale bony cheeks, without his father‘s grip he would’ve fallen over. 

There was no point in apologizing, Sev didn’t know what he should feel sorry for anymore, it didn’t matter. His father didn’t need another reason to humiliate him, Sev‘s existence was enough to drive him mad. 

His father let go of his hair and Severus‘ weakened body dropped to the floor. He curled up to protect himself from the man‘s kicks, his ribs felt like they were about to break under the pressure and his heart was pounding in his ears. He gazed towards the kitchen window, if he could only distract him for a moment, if only his mother would come down and save him ... No, he had to save himself. 

Through all these years of abuse and pain his parents had taught him one important lesson he wouldn’t dare to forget for the rest of his life: Severus could never trust anyone. 

Sev had enough courage left to slowly crawl away from the monster above him. He felt strong hands reach out for his arms, but he was faster than his old man, he got up from the floor and ran towards the window. He struggled to open it, he heard his father scream behind him, he was only moments away from breathing fresh air.

The window finally flew open, but his father was already standing behind him. Severus gulped, he didn’t dare to turn around. The last thing Sev felt were hands around his throat ...

 

Severus woke up covered in sweat and goosebumps. His heart was beating rapidly, but strong. His eyes wandered over the stony ceiling and the large shelves full of cauldrons and potions standing on both sides of the bed, with a sigh of relief he realized he wasn‘t in Spinners End. He was home.

He wasn‘t a child anymore, he was a fully grown adult, known and feared as Professor Snape by all students of Hogwarts. He had no one to be afraid of, his father was long dead and so was his mother. He hoped neither of them was enjoying any of the peace or silence he always associated death with, they deserved to rot in hell.

Something moved next to him and for a second he thought it was his father, but then the moonlight illuminated the beautiful boy with his big, green eyes staring at him in great worry. 

"Same nightmare as always?" The boy muttered and reached out to stroke Severus‘ cheeks. The older man closed his eyes and focused his thoughts on the gentle touch, the soft, little hands never failed to soothe him.

"Yes," Severus replied.

"He‘s dead, he will never hurt you again, you know that, yes?" 

"Yes," Severus replied again, his breath growing more steady.

"We will always protect each other, that‘s what I promised you," the boy said and brushed his pink lips over Sev‘s. 

"Harry," Sev croaked and left his mouth open for the eager boy, he got the hint and kissed him deeply. 

Harry Potter.

In Severus‘ eyes he used to be nothing more than the pampered little prince who never behaved himself and was a spitting image of his disgusting father, but after the Professor discovered the memories of Harry‘s childhood, he realized that they had suffered a similar fate.

Misery and pain were what brought them together. They were the reason why Harry snuck into his office at night to lay with his potions teacher. Eventually their secret sleepovers turned into long make out sessions and one particularly lonely night, Severus had claimed the boy‘s virginity.

Now they belonged to each other.

"Stop sulking, old man. You should sleep," Harry whispered into his ear, covering his neck with kisses as he spoke. "Love you, Sev."

Forever bound by their suffering.

**Author's Note:**

> I never liked Snape‘s parents, they might not have abused him physically in canon, but I highly doubt they showed Sev the care and love he deserved. 
> 
> Opinions or suggestions for stories are always welcome, thank you for reading. <3


End file.
